Friday 7 July 2017

5 Things I HATE about Hairdressers !!

Public Domain Cartoon
There are any number of reasons why I get the heeby-jeebies about going to the hairdressers.

Maybe it's me, but it seems I always go off my hairdresser eventually, although I have outlasted one or two who went on to better things in posher, more exxpensive salons.

I'm not a monster though. I can forgive the occasional mistake, but some things are DEAL BREAKERS!

1. THE ATTACK

My current hairdresser is very good, but I'm never going back there again. She does a great job and my hair always looks wonderful, but, boy, does she leave me with a sore head.

She's so rough, pulling and grimacing as though my hair is a force to be subdued, not crafted into a delightful concoction that will transform my looks until the next high wind or rainy day.

I suspect - although I may be wrong - that this is deliberate. Surely she must know that her relentless yanking must hurt like hell, especially as I am wincing and squishing my eyes together like a terrified rabbit facing a shotgun.

Why don't I say something?  I'm a wimp about some things. I guess I think she might take it out on me in some other way. The woman with the scissors wields a lot of power. Easier to go somewhere else.

2. THE CHOP

Getting my hair cut is the worst thing. I love my hair short but not right up the back of my neck, thank you very much. Once I was driven to drawing in extra little wispy hairs down the back of my neck with an eyebrow pencil. No one, but the youngest, slenderest, prettiest girl looks good with hair cropped right up to the top of her ears.

3. LEAVING MY COLOUR ON TOO LONG

This happens when the salon overbooks. There's not time to take out my colour because my hairdresser is in the middle of removing the split ends from a fellow customer with a lot more hair than I have. As a result, my brown has gone black and black hair only suits (yes, you got it!) the youngest, slenderest, prettiest girls.

4. NOT PROTECTING MY SKIN FROM COLOUR

This is sheer laziness and ineptitude and no one should ever leave her hairdresser with a product tidemark on the back of her neck. (Always be suspicious if your hairdresser fails to use a mirror to show you the back of your head.)

5. GETTING NASTY IF I CUT OR COLOUR MYSELF BETWEEN VISITS

I do try not to do this, but sometimes there's not time to get to the hairdresser and if I can't see under my fringe, I give it a little trim. Usually it looks okay. Once I made a mess because my regular root touch-up was not available and I bought a different product. It looked terrible but, after all...

IT'S MY HAIR AND I DON'T HAVE TO EXPLAIN!

Oh well, onward I go. I do believe there's a salon I haven't tried in Bognor.














Thursday 22 June 2017

PASSIVE and PASSENGER are Equally Contentious Labels

Everyone tells me I don't need a car. I mean, let's face it, at my age! Why do I need to go out in the evening when the buses only run once an hour? Why do I need transport at my fingertips? Buses are good enough. Fgs, the Government gave me a bus pass, for which I am eminently grateful. Of course, on odd occasions, someone might give me a lift. Sometimes it works out fine, and I appreciate that, I really do.

EXCEPT...

Something terrible happens to perfectly nice people when they are IN CONTROL of the car and you are a PASSIVE PASSENGER.  PASSIVE and PASSENGER are equally contentious labels.

There are the usual problems which every non-car driver experiences.

  1. You have to leave when your lift decides to leave. You can't leave early because you are p....d off, or even later because you just met this incredibly dishy man. And that's fair enough. You can't expect your lift to inconvenience themselves, otherwise what's the point of a car?
  2. If you can't get a lift, and the buses finish before you leave your event, then you can't go. That's that.
  3. Whenever you travel by public transport, you arrive windswept and exhausted from whizzing over platform bridges or standing on the station in a wind tunnel. Or being rained on at the bus stop because the bus is running late. And the cold, the biting cold in winter, when the bus is nowhere to be seen and everything around is dark and miserable.
  4. Without wanting to be unkind to the unfortunate, it can be hard when someone very dirty and smelly sits next to you. I do understand this person has problems, but ... I am squeamish about stuff like that.
  5. You have to carry very heavy stuff, or else arrange for it to be delivered or buy online. This means you have a constantly aching back or feet. Or you have to use a shopping trolley which makes you feel 90 years old.
IT'S A LIFESTYLE

People tell me I don't need a car because I can get a taxi from time to time when I need one. But it's not a one-off. It's a whole lifestyle that is having to be adjusted to what is available in the area where I live. It was better in when I lived in Brighton as the buses go everywhere and run all night.

So taxis are out. If I used taxis every time I needed a car rather than a bus, I would be broke.

Then there are the occasional TERRIBLE EXPERIENCES a person can have when accepting lifts. It's not just me. Friends in the same position have also encountered similar problems. For example:

THE WORST PASSIVE PASSENGER EXPERIENCES
  1. When I first moved to Rustington, a woman I knew wanted to take me everywhere. I think her heart was in the right place in the beginning, but it became impossible. She was so intense and eager to please that I accepted even though I could, in some cases, easily have gone by bus. Then she would turn up 30 minutes early or even longer, and sit outside my apartment block blasting her horn and I was still in my underwear.

    To cap it all, I'd believe we were going to the cinema, or maybe for a drink in the pub, but we'd have to spend an hour in the garden centre, or maybe the supermarket, first. There was plenty of time. She'd made sure of that. I hate going to the garden centre or the supermarket and trailing around with a trolley when I think I am going to see a film, and when I definitely don't want any shopping or plants. Generally speaking, I hate shopping. I only go when I run out of marmalade. But in someone else's car, you are done for. I made a big mistake. I got in her car and she was in control, the Boss Lady.  It was soooo hard to extricate myself from this situation.
  2. "Don't worry, we will take you ALL THE WAY HOME. No, there's no need to drop you off halfway at a convenient bus stop."  Okay, sounds fair enough. But I am in the back of the car. The front windows are wide open, to allow the smoke to drift out. But science is not that kind. The draught thundering through the windows channels that smoke straight back into the car, depriving me (floundering in the back) of oxygen and creating enough toxic fumes in my tiny bit of air space to practically choke me. 
  3. When I was offered a lift to a regular event, the male driver in question was gallantry itself, until a couple of people made remarks about us arriving together. Sort of suggesting, by implication, we were an item. He was raging by the time he drove me home and ranted at me, as though it was my fault. Perhaps he thought I'd told people he was my man-friend, who knows? Some men are so arrogant. It's quite scary, having your driver in a state of, well not exactly road-rage, but something close. I told him the fact he had given me a lift did not mean I wanted to have his baby. Eventually, we made it up, and are now civil to each other. But that experience made me wary of accepting lifts from men unless I know them well.
  4. Then there was the intimidating woman-driver who took me to an event. I paid my share of the petrol so it should have been okay. But what an aggressive driver! She gave all the other drivers the finger, accelerated to within half a metre of the car in front, and then slammed on the brakes. At one point a car was trying to edge out of a difficult position onto the main road. She would not give way and missed hitting it by a heartbeat. At one point it passed us in the faster lane, and then she sat so close to its back bumper I was tensing up for the bang. She must have had her two fingers up in front of the windscreen for at least a mile.
INDEPENDENCE AT LAST

So that's why I need a car. It's about freedom, movement and independence. 

I found a super one on the Internet, see photo and I'm going to look at it tomorrow. I've checked out the current values, and the insurance. 

It seems perfect, so only something truly awful will stop me buying it. 





Wednesday 12 April 2017

I Can't Stand Nosey Parkers.



I can't stand Nosey Parkers. Real, unashamed Nosey Parkers. The sort of Nosey Parker whose nose twitches like an excited squirrel about to unearth his nuts after a long, long hibernation!

What is so fascinating about what is going on in my living room?

Okay, so we are all, to some extent, curious. I understand that. We're all interested in other people. At least, most of us are. But now I'm talking about those human-twitchers always on the lookout, always nosing into other people's business, and who don't understand the meaning of the word "privacy."

Being on the ground floor, people have to walk past my patio window en route to the car park. I don't mind that. I like people. Most don't trot past with their eyes burning anxiously as they try to peer through my window glass. Hoping to see what?

The case in point is a married couple in my block of flats. They are both irrepressible twitchers of human activity. Rubber-neckers. When I first moved in, before I managed to get my blinds sorted, I felt like a specimen at the zoo. I contemplated putting up a sign. HOMO SAPIEN, (FEMALE) FEEDING TIME 7PM.

Sometimes I had a sense of humour about it. My friend and I would giggle, watching them as they walked past, not realising that we could see them rubber-necking.

He has taken Holy Orders, so maybe he hopes to catch me out in some minor sin that he can help me to repent of. But - eventually - the blinds went up, and the curtains went up. Incredibly their necks remained intact and not dislocated.

Now my blinds and curtains have had to come down again.

The workmen are here doing my damp proofing and plaster repairs. This evening, though, I wanted some privacy. The bookcase placed on its side in front of the window helped, with cushions and table mats on top, and a chair beside, see my photo above.

His Holiness comes up the apartment steps, veers left towards my window and peers through the glass patio door, over the two bags on top of the chair I pushed in front of it.

Infuriating.

Fortunately they will be moving in May. Let's hope the new neighbours will have a life of their own and won't need to rubber-neck mine!





Sunday 2 April 2017

Giacomo Casanova, The World's Most Famous Womanizer, was Born This Day, 2 April

Casanova - by Adriano C. Public Domain
I'm not sure why I'm posting this on Msanthropeonline. After all, he LOVED women, and so, he must have been very charming. Maybe I would have fallen for him if I'd lived in the 18th century and met him. Yes, knowing me, I can be taken in by a sparkling wit and and engaging manner.

But he was ruthless and manipulative and deceitful. And women were his "victims" although possibly that is too strong a word.

He was born in Venice on 2 April 1725 and called himself by all manner of uppity titles, Baron, Count, Chevalier, to impress the ladies and other useful contacts. He hobnobbed with the best of society, Voltaire, Goethe and Mozart, and was on familiar terms with royalty.

His autobiography which he wrote while working as a librarian in Bohemia, was Histoire de ma vie. (Story of my life.) 

The following quote he made about love is courtesy of his page on Wikipedia.

Real love is the love that sometimes arises after sensual pleasure: if it does, it is immortal; the other kind inevitably goes stale, for it lies in mere fantasy. 

So, clearly, this intellectual did have some idea of what real love was; nevertheless he is known for his numerous and brief amorous adventures with women.  

One particularly bizarre incident occurred in Paris. He managed to convince an aristocratic woman, Marquise d'Urfe, that he could use his knowledge of the occult to turn her into a young man, his goal being some sort of payoff. Of course, as he would have known, his plan didn't work and the lady lost interest in his alleged occult abilities.

Why was Casanova impelled to pursue and seduce so many women?  

For a start, he was constantly in debt. As a result, he moved around Europe at an alarming rate. Perhaps he was never able to stay anywhere long enough to develop anything concrete.

There could be another likely cause. At age 9, his mother, a theatre actress who was constantly on tour, packed him off to a boarding house in Padua. (His father had already died when he was eight years old.)  The conditions were terrible and he felt angry and abandoned. Maybe this caused him to go off in search of love - and yet not be able to trust anyone sufficiently to commit to a lifetime relationship. (All this is just speculation on my part. No doubt a deeper study of the man might produce further possibilities.)

If I get around to reading his autobiography I will let you know! 

Casanova died in 1798. 

You can find a short biography with a video about Casanova here.




Wednesday 29 March 2017

Girlgate


Six delegates, five men and one woman, are at a business meeting after hours. The refectory is closed and the coffee machine has broken down.

 After a gruelling session one of the men says, "I could murder a coffee."

"Right," says the man next to him. "I'll get the girl to fix it."






Tuesday 7 March 2017

Money, Power and Beauty - Curses or Blessings?

   
Jane Austen, Public Domain

Once, a friend said, "I take the view that if I don't go out with the postman, I won't end up falling in love and marrying him." At the time, to the dizzy, Mills & Boon-reading teenager that I was, this seemed unromantic, even calculating. Surely you couldn't choose with whom you fell in love! Yet, she had made an honest attempt at self-analysis about what was best for her. Coming from a fairly wealthy background, love-in-a-garret would not augur well for a future marriage for this particular friend.

Of course, these days women are perfectly capable of earning their own money and setting their own parameters within a relationship. But, just how much have things changed? Do we still look for that extra something that seems to emanate from money and power? What do women really want from men?
Women have been uttering these little sparks of wisdom since the sixth century to the present-day. Here is a selection of some favourite female comments:
Reputation and Freedom
For some women, it was always simply a matter of quietly going ahead, doing what you want, and letting life take care of itself. Here are two examples from women of previous centuries:
If women want any rights they had better take them and say nothing about it.” ~ Harriet Beecher Stowe (1811-1896)
Until you've lost your reputation, you never realize what a burden it was or what freedom really is.” ~ Margaret Mitchell (1900-1949)
Women Wanting to be Beautiful
Fifty years ago, beauty was essential if you wanted to “catch” a husband. If not beauty, then you needed to be, at the very least, a woman of some substance, preferably an heiress. Women considered plain were diminished by their contemporaries, female as well as male.
The Englishwoman is so refined / She has no bosom and no behind.” ~ Stevie Smith, 1937, (1902-1971)
As she had no hope of raising herself to the rank of a beauty, her only chance was bringing others down to her own level.” ~ Emily Eden (1797-1869)
On the other hand, some attractive women decided to compromise, and learned to use their natural assets to good effect – and were brave enough to say so:
I had always looked upon my beauty as a curse, because I was regarded as a whore rather than an actress. Now at least I understand that my beauty was a blessing. It was my lack of understanding the way to merchandise it that was the curse.” ~ Louise Brooks (1906-1985)
Others rebelled and decided they were perfectly all right as they were, a lesson many of us are beginning to take on board today as the diet and beauty industries become increasingly under fire for setting standards impossible to attain. At last, such deceptions as air-brushing are deemed unacceptable and many of us demand to be acknowledged for what we are.
I'm tired of all this nonsense about beauty being only skin-deep. That's deep enough. What do you want - an adorable pancreas?” ~ Jean Kerr The Snake has all the Lines (1958)
However, there are truisms that work as well today as they did in previous centuries:
Nature gives you the face you have at twenty; it is up to you to merit the face you have at fifty.” ~ Coco Chanel. (Gabrielle Bonheur, 1883-1971)
A dirty exterior is a great enemy to beauty of all descriptions.” ~ Mary Martha Sherwood (1775-1851)
The Cost and Benefit of Beautiful Clothes
Fortunately, today we are more enlightened and we care much more about wildlife than mink or ermine coats unlike Louise Brooks:
I was mad about clothes for a time. You know, ermine coats and those things eat up a lot of money.” ~ Louise Brooks (1906-1985)
The sense of being well-dressed gives a feeling of inward tranquility which religion is powerless to bestow.” ~ Miss C.F. Forbes (1817-1911)
Money Talks
Back in the seventeenth century, playwright Aphra Benn (1640-1689) said: “Come away, poverty’s catching.” This does rather echo the postman metaphor in this article’s introduction. Some women have always loved men with the Midas touch, for example:
I have known many people who turned their gold into smoke, but you are the first to turn smoke into gold.” ~ Elizabeth I (1533-1603) to Sir Walter Raleigh.
Who can fail to sympathise with iconic short story writer, Katherine Mansfield (1888-1923) when she said: “I must say I hate money but it's the lack of it I hate most.”
Even Jane Austen, (1775-1817) gentle romantic that she was, had plenty to say about money: “A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of. It certainly may secure all the myrtle and turkey part of it.”
The American women’s rights activist and writer, Gertrude Stein, (1874-1946) was actually being rather sneaky when she said: “I want to get rich but I never want to do what there is to do to get rich.” But Stein was already a wealthy woman in her own right, and so, she didn’t have to.
Throughout history, women have had to make many difficult decisions about their multi-faceted lives. What is amazing and often inspirational is their spirited determination to rise above the realities of their lives and the often wicked wit that has surfaced throughout the struggle and the turmoil.
Sources:

  • The Wicked Wit of Women, Compiled by Dominique Enright, Michael O'Mara Books Ltd. London, 2003.
  • 3500 Good Quotes for Speakers, Gerald F. Lieberman, Thorsons Publishers Ltd. Northamptonshire, 1984.
  • Pocket Treasury of Great Quotations, Reader's Digest, London, 1977

Sunday 5 March 2017

Things I Wish People Wouldn't Say

"Don't tell me what I'm feeling. I don't like it."


"I want you to meet my friend, Helen. She's amazing. You'll absolutely luuuuurve her." (No I won't. I can feel myself bristling already!)

Journalist: "A man was brutally murdered."  (Ever heard of a non-brutal murder. Somehow, by definition, murders aren't loving and kind unless it's a mercy-killing.)

Writers in general: "She sobbed uncontrollably."  (Does anyone - ever- sob while in perfect control?)

Stores / Tour Operators, etc: "Get a free xxx000xxx!!!!"  (That is a complete misappropriation of the word "free" which means unconditional. If it was free you wouldn't need to buy something to get it.)

Anything President Trump says.

Hairdresser: "D'you want product?"  Me: "What product exactly?"  "Hairdressers; "Product, d'you want product?"  Rolls eyes at the ceiling. (OMG, doesn't she know "product" means an item and is not procedure-specific?)

My bank / doctor's practice worker / dental surgery. "Hi Janet."  (Excuse me, but have we actually met?)

"How lovely to see you." (Okay if it's sincere but if you're looking over your shoulder to see if there is someone more interesting around, then it's a deal-breaker.)

Anything Nigel Farage says.

"I'm just here to help."  (Last person that said this to me was a retired chap who saw an ad I put on a local site for someone to do a small window-related job for me. He didn't want to do the job, because he was just off on holiday. He wanted me to contact "his man" who turned out - as I guessed - to be a double glazing company. 

No prizes for guessing what he got out of it. If someone says they want to help you, be very afraid!
























Sunday 26 February 2017

No, I Don't Believe in Lizard People, Crystal Children or a Hollow Earth!

Image by Android Cat, Public Domain


This planet is teeming with great eccentrics, individualistic types who do their own thing and express themselves freely, a wonderful, liberating, non-judgemental society.  

That ought to be good.

Except - if I meet another psychic I am going to go crazy. I feel inundated with psychics, new agers, conspiracy theorists, followers of mad, mad theories. Mature, apparently reasonable and articulate people, will tell you, quite matter-of-factly, about vampyres and evil spirits and "lower levels of being" and travelling to the "Fourth Level" (Whatever that is.)

That's the worst part of it - that everything seems to veer towards negativity, misery and forthcoming destruction. It's as though life is such crap that some people need something else to fasten onto, or to blame.

Fifteen Foot High Men in the Pale Sunlight!

Conversations take place over breakfast about a hollow earth filled with great cities and fifteen foot high men. And, although one theorist agreed it's unlikely the earth is hollow, he qualified that it was, in fact, a honeycomb. I asked, wearily, how he can base his entire life's purpose around theories that are not only unlikely, but for which there is no evidence whatsoever.  Apparently he can. Apparently physics can help to explain this weird phenomenon.


And if you're wondering how a great city thrives inside the earth, it's because sunlight filters through, palely. Good word that, palely!  Words are the conspiracy theorists' most important tools, especially ambiguous, loose, non-specific words that are flexible enough to be moulded to the theory.


Spare me from the following:

  • People whose conversation is peppered with the following terms of reference: healing ~ demonic possession ~ new world order ~ aliens ~ lizard people ~ higher levels ~ lower levels ~ the other side.
  • People who think it's okay to try to foist their belief systems on me without ever asking me what I think, which is a typical problem with these overtly alternative types. You can become quite good friends with them without them ever knowing what sort of music you like best.
  • People who believe that superchildren (crystal children) are being born. When we start talking about an elite among little kids, it starts to get really sinister. Preserve us from any of these misguided adults from becoming teachers, nurses or nursery school staff.
Weird Belief Rituals

I accept that these theories are genuine religion beliefs, and in some ways are no more bizarre than some orthodox religions. What I do observe is that they almost always lead to stress, anxiety, negativity, obsession, compulsion, confrontation among themselves and with society in general. This is just observation, but in my life I have seen more screwed-up people among the "Weird Belief" community than in any other area of life. I'm not sure if this is a chicken and egg situation, since we could ask what came first, the neurosis and then the religion, or the religion and then the neurosis.

Tell me that energy has just flown out of the top of my head  indicating my - you choose the word: anger, stress, negativity - and that my soul is fragmented and needs putting together again, then I am defriending you, not just from my Facebook page but from my life. There's enough to contend with of a practical and an emotional nature in this life, and plenty of opportunity for rational, gentle speculation, without resorting to these obsessive, attention-seeking rituals that seem, almost inevitably, to lead to disaster, depression and negativity.


Monday 20 February 2017

Age is just a number ~or is it?



Age is just a number, goes the old platitude. It's true and I don't have a problem with it. The problem is ~ all the others!

Of course, it's great to be fit and attractive, to keep your brain synapses healthy by seeking knowledge and stretching your mind; your body healthy by doing sustainable, appealing exercises. I'm not saying "youthful." I don't want a face devoid of wrinkles as it would make the rest of me look rather odd. 
But - sometimes - on a good hair day (and a good skin/slim tum day) people take me for younger, although that may depend, partly, on the quality of the light and whether they are wearing their specs or not. But if someone says, "You look good," well, that's better than "You look good for your age!" If I look good, tell me so and leave it at that, because actually I'm okay about my age. If others have a problem with it, then tough!
When you think about it, we are probably the luckiest generation, with improved healthcare, more money, wonderful beauty products and clothes, and all the secret little processes carried out in high street beauty salons to fix a flaw here and there. But, sometimes, just sometimes, keeping yourself young and fit can work against you.
Concessions for Seniors
I feel miffed when I ask for a concession at a local theatre or cinema, and the booking clerk wants to see identification. Do I look dishonest? Do I look as though I am so desperate, that I would lie about my age to save a few pennies?  Seething, I wait while my details are checked, then, suddenly, a rush of... well, something approaching self-satisfaction. Because - in a way - it's a compliment. They actually don't believe I'm old enough to be entitled to a concession.
The next time, when the person doesn't ask, or I quickly try to foist some form of confirmation on them, and they say, "Oh, that's all right, don't bother," I think, "Hmmm, so do I look such an old bag you're happy to wave me through?"  Sometimes people just can't win and I must stop being oversensitive.
Bus Passes
One of the most unsettling experiences I ever had on the bus was the day I sat in the front seats, especially designated "Priority Seats for the Disabled, Elderly and those Less Able to Stand."  Usually, I left those seats for those worse off than me, but that day all seats at the back were taken and I was, frankly, exhausted. So, as I settled down in the front, a middle-aged woman leapt on the bus and as she turned to climb the stairs, she shouted at me, "Those seats are for old people."  At the time I was 68! 
I read recently in the paper that scientists have just done a study and decided that old age starts at 69. I'd be interested to see how they arrived at such a specific evaluation, Is it legal to discriminate?
No, I'm not Workshy!
Also, people who see you around a lot, sometimes ask, rather belligerently, "Why aren't you working?" as though they think I am a scrounger on benefits so I can swan around all day, shopping and drinking Brancott with my friends.
Then, of course, occasionally in a pub, a gentleman might want to buy me a drink. Mention, in passing, a class I am doing at the U3A (University of the Third Age) and there'll be a stunned silence and then said gentleman beats a hasty retreat. 
Well, I wasn't interested in him anyway. Prefer them younger, actually.
If you Speak to Me Slowly and Loudly, I Might Understand
One day I went to a new dentist and she glanced at my records and began to talk to me in a very slow, measured and loud voice. For a moment it seemed she had a speech impediment. Poor young lady! I thought. I stared at her in sympathy. Then, as she kept repeating herself, I realised what had happened. She'd just spotted my age on her chart and she'd assumed... what?  Well, one day I might need someone to talk to me like that, perish the thought, but at least, for the time being, give me the benefit of the doubt.

In the end, you have need to have a sense of humour. But overall, it's great, not only looking smart and up-to-date, but also believing that age is just a number. 

Saturday 18 February 2017

Is Class Snobbery Alive and Well in Britain?

Hove, Photo Copyright Gareth Cameron

People are weird.

I began to realise this when I decided to move away from Hove three years ago. Not because it wasn't good enough, it was just too expensive for me to find adequate accommodation spacious enough for all my books and files.

I'm in West Sussex now, but for a while I considered towns nearer to Hove, in East Sussex.

I suppose some people might find what happened to me offensive.  I didn't.  I couldn't let myself care that much, but here it is:

It appears there are "people" who are really beneath one, and with whom one has nothing in common. Some of these people live in areas a little outside Brighton & Hove.

An invisible line

Apparently there is a line, where B & H and its more salubrious suburbs, like Rottingdean, end, and then one might venture, at one's peril, into areas where one just wouldn't choose to live.  At this point, the people change from being educated, with "nice" manners, into those who need to be avoided at all costs. The word generally used is "common." (shudder...)

All this because I was thinking of moving to Peacehaven, conveniently situated halfway between Brighton and Eastbourne.

But it's all right, they said. I would be okay so long as I moved to Shoreham instead.  (Personally, I've always found upmarket Shoreham a wee bit unfriendly and Peacehaven more than agreeable. But there you are. I guess, maybe, I'm a bumpkin too and those lower-class Peacehaven people recognise me as one of their own!)

There was one positive aspect to all this. I was made to understand that, because I managed, at least, to get myself educated, I am not entirely lost as a human being in spite of my "Sarf London" accent.

Oh, give me a break! I thought. Are you implying  I will be the only "educated" person in Peacehaven?  Goodness Gracious!

Not a Wetherspoons - here - please!

Not that class distinctions are absent where I live now. One person mentioned in the presence of another delightful (and unsnobbish couple) that saunas were a great leveller and only when people got dressed could we recognise their "class."  I was swift to point out that these days it wasn't okay to judge people that way, but to discern their human qualities of kindness and acceptance.

But there is nothing much one can do. There is a certain chain of easy going, admittedly slightly shabby pubs, that serve consistently excellent food with plenty of vegetarian options for very little money. The pubs employ friendly respectful staff and have a most comfortable ambience.  

You should have heard the uproar when it was thought we might get a branch of the chain when the old Co-op was closed down in the village. The local forums were positively bristling.

"Not a Wetherspoons in Rustington. We really don't want that."

I am so glad I live inside my own head. How much rich, human experience must be lost to people with snobbish mindsets?




Wednesday 15 February 2017

Tesco says "The Fun Starts with your Vouchers" - Not!!!


Going shopping?  You don't need vouchers! Photo: Janet Cameron

I hate vouchers.

These are the things I really hate about vouchers:

  • They're fiddly and time-consuming but you feel guilty if you waste them.
  • They're complicated. Some are for money off once, some are for money off on two separate occasions, some are for points, some can be doubled up if you go to Reception or something.
  • You need to know when you're going shopping. I never do. I just think, Oh, I'll think I'll just pop into Tesco's. And, of course, when I do that, I don't have my vouchers.
  • You need to keep an eye on the dates. You might think of buying something that you would normally consider a bit expensive, but a pound off makes all the difference. Then you get to the till and find your voucher expired yesterday.
  • They're long-winded at the till.  You have wait, clicking your heels, while the person in front of you expresses alternately happiness or dismay, as to whether their vouchers are the right date or not, and the correct product, or not. It's easy to make a mistake unless you have all day twiddling your thumbs. Then the person behind you waits groaning and tapping their foot while you have your turn. It's worse than waiting for people to buy their lottery tickets in the Co-op.
  • Some are "two for one." Or "Buy One Get One Free."   I hate "two for one." I'm single, I don't want the same thing every day just to use something up. And I don't to waste stuff. I'd rather just have one at a fair price. Besides, the word "Free" should not be conditional on you buying something.
  • And lastly, you get so fed up with carrying the wretched things around, you might even be tempted to buy something you don't need. Which is exactly what the supermarket wants you to do!

Of course the straight £2 or £3 off your shopping bill voucher is fine. It's all the rest. Sometimes I just throw them away then I feel guilty when I shop, thinking how much money I'm wasting. Or I go to Iceland where you don't need money off cos it's all so cheap.  So why don't I go to Iceland all the time?  Well, in spite of all the above, Tesco's is, somehow, more inviting.

So from time to time, out of frustration, I give Morrisons, or Asda or Lidl a try. I quite like Morrisons except I've had about three bunches of flowers that haven't managed to open. (Never a problem with Tesco, who must have a superior supplier.)

So, a supermarket that's cheap, with no vouchers, beautiful flowers that do what it says on the tin, and friendly staff.  Doesn't seem a lot to ask.

Saturday 11 February 2017

What I Love and Hate About Poets


Bing Images

I like:


Poets who invent new, exciting words, just so long as I have some idea of what is meant through the context in which they are used.

I dislike:


Pernickety people who say, "There's no such word!"

I like:


People who admit they don't know much about poetry, but they have an open mind, and are willing to see if they can get something from it.

I dislike:


People who just declare they don't like poetry, even though they've never bothered to try it.

I can live with:


People who are indifferent but who don't make judgments are okay. That's their choice and they have every right to make that choice. It's just the noisy detractors I cannot stand.

I like:


People who are open to trying different forms, and don't make certain kinds of poetry "wrong". 

I dislike:


People who insist they hate rhyming poetry or contemporary blank verse, or prose poetry, or humorous verse. There's room for everything, and one kind of voice doesn't prevail over all others.

I like:


Poets who are original and who write from their own experience.

I dislike:


Pretend-poets who steal other people's ideas, change a few words around, (just enough to avoid a charge of plagiarism) and present it as their own. 

I especially dislike:


Two poets who have played that trick on me!









Monday 6 February 2017

It's Not All About Wolfe and Greene!





A cry from the heart when I was doing my MA:





CONFUSED

When
fragmentary
and highly original
Stream-of-Consciousness writings
from Wolfe and Greene
get praised
incessantly,
it hurts
when my
fragmentary
and highly original 
Stream-of-Consciousness essays
don't get
their
Just Desserts






Thursday 2 February 2017

Truth is Variable - Cultural Relativism Part 2

Going the way that suits our circumstance. Copyright Janet Cameron

Cultural relativism is just a small step away from cultural ethics. (To see the Intro to this article, pleae go to Why Can't We Agree:  Cultural Relativism Part 1
The cultural relativists believe that truth is variable and cannot be absolute. This belief discredits ethical issues of right or wrong. Everything is - quite simply - as it is! Cultural norms are a matter of opinion, and one culture cannot be less worthy than another - not even if that culture practises human or animal sacrifice.
"Cultural Relativism" in All About Philosophy mentions an event in January 2002. President Bush described terrorist nations, collectively, as "an axis of evil." This incensed the cultural relativists. The West, they felt, had no right to cast a judgement on Islam. Even suicide bombings could not be described as evil. They were, simply, a result of a human culture.
Steven Pinker, in "Culture Vultures" in The Blank Slate, says that sometimes we view the development of culture in the wrong way. "The best explanation today... depends on seeing a culture as a product of human desires rather than as a shaper of them."
There is a good reason for this.
The geography of the land can influence culture, as people seek what is most useful to them. 

Maps have to Simplify - and All Maps Distort

It may be useful to look at our Model as a sort of map. The main point is that the model that we choose to live our lives by, should be the one that is most useful to us. On the other hand, we must accept that sometimes things don't work out as we have planned.
As Howard Damrstadter points out, "People in different situations with different needs may opt for different, and conflicting, models. We must each settle for those simplifications that suit our particular circumstances, accepting that occasionally the roast will burn, the investment sour, the article be rejected... No one map or model can get it all right."
We must be aware that, apart from differences in perception, we also have psychological limits in the way our personal models operate. From time to time, our own models will prove defective. Although these models may prove effective for us in most situation, occasional defective experiences do not affect our overall perspective. But, imagine how much more defective our models might be for a different person in a different situation operating under a different model.
In a small group or tribe, slight differences may not cause major problems. The disagreement is exacerbated when dealing with models in a global society where others needs conflict strongly with our own.

An Analysis of Cultural Differences

It might be helpful to remind ourselves of the background against which philosophy measures the challenging implications of cultural relativism.
In "Culture Vultures" Pinker includes a quotation from the economist, Thomas Sowell, that informed Sowell's trilogy of works, Race and Culture, Migrations and Cultures and Conquests and Cultures.
"A culture is not a symbolic pattern, preserved like a butterfly in amber. Its place is not in a museum but in the practical activities of daily life, where it evolves under the stress of competing goals and other competing cultures. Cultures do not exist as simply static 'differences' to be celebrated but compete with one another as better and worse ways of getting things done - better and worse, not from the standpoint of some observer, but from the standpoint of the people themselves, as they cope and aspire amid the gritty realities of life."
It is easy to see where difficulties arise, as cultures compete among themselves. Some may do better than others. We may applaud diversity but at the same time, we must acknowledge our discontent if another culture works better than ours by achieving more material success.

No Llamas or Alpacas in Mexico!

Sometimes, success is partly due to excellence in science, art or technology, but it can also be assisted by geographical elements. An example cited by Pinker is the huge landmass of Eurasia which stretches in an east-west direction, making it much easier for crops and animals to survive and for trade to prosper because it enjoys a steadier climate along a similar line of latitude.

Landmasses such as Africa and the Americas, however, run north to south. is the huge landmass of Eurasia which stretches in an east-west direction making it much easier for crops and animals to survive and for trade to prosper because it enjoys a steadier Landmasses such as Africa and the Americas, however, run north to south.
Pinker says, "...llamas and alpacas domesticated in the Andes never made it northward to Mexico, so the Mayan and Aztec civilizations were left without pack animals."
This is why Eurasian countries invaded and conquered so much of the world, not because Eurasians are cleverer or cannier, "but because they could best take advantage of the principle that many heads are better than one," says Pinker.

The Big Problem for Philosophy

The big problem is that we cannot always convert other people to our own way of thinking. We cannot persuade them to adopt our model when their wants and needs are so different from our own. "A multi-model understanding tells us that such differences may make conversion unlikely."
Howard Darmstadter concludes his article "Why We Can't Agree" on a note of hope. He claims that we must not give up on conversation, that we must keep on trying.
We can still look for "...mutally beneficial accommodations that are possible even when models differ." Steven Pinker says - almost - the same thing from his own viewpoint, or "model."

"...our understanding of ourselves and our cultures can only be enriched by the discovery that our minds are composed of intricate neural circuits for thinking, feeling, and learning rather than blank slates, amorphous blobs, or inscrutable ghosts."

Wednesday 1 February 2017

Why Can't We Agree? - Cultural Relativism Part 1

Copyright Janet Cameron


People have long considered how different patterns of behaviour and use of language in human beings suggest that they perceive the world different ways.
In "Perceptions, Cultural Differences," in The Mind, the author (unnamed) explains a peculiar phenomenon, the theory that awkward translations prove that the Greeks saw colours differently from the way we see colours today, and that there might be differences in perception between those who live in the West, from people who live in the East.
The theory is not just about visual perceptions. It also encompasses the most fundamental issues about how we perceive and understand what goes on around us.

We See Our World Through Different Models

In his article, "Why We Can't Agree" in Philosophy Now, Howard Darmstadter uses extreme examples from the animal kingdom to demonstrate how living things use models to deal with their immediate environment and survival.
"A wildebeest on the African plain - aware of much in its environment, unaware of much else. The presence of suitable grasses, the whereabouts of predators, and the actions of other wildebeest, get its attention, but wind currents, the flights of birds, and the doings of small mammals are of no concern."
The eagle, soaring way above the fleeing wildebeest, will, clearly, have a vastly different model in order to deal with her own survival. Again, the human hunters on the ground will be looking for signs indicating edible plants or game, while a geologist's model will focus on rock formations, overlooking signs of animal prey.

What is Cultural Relativism?

So, how can we know whether we are right or wrong? Should historical figures be judged within the context of their culture at that time? In other words, should we refuse to make allowances for actions that we would find morally reprehensible today? Should we disparage other cultures whose rituals and practices repulse us in present times?
The cultural relativists would say "No, no, no! Definitely not."
The website "All About Philosophy" displays an article "Cultural Relativism" which defines the term as follows:
"Cultural relativism is the view that all beliefs, customs, and ethics are relative to the individual within his own social context. In other words, “right” and “wrong” are culture-specific; what is considered moral in one society may be considered immoral in another, and, since no universal standard of morality exists, no one has the right to judge another society’s customs."
The cultural relativists certainly do believe this, and where our senses of justice and empathy are not challenged, we, too, might think this is perfectly acceptable. However, it might take an exceptional ability to look at the bigger picture without being disturbed by the underlying detail.

Can we take this theory on board without a qualm of conscience?

Continued: Truth is Variable, Cultural Relativism Part 2

Tuesday 31 January 2017

Othello's Soliloquy is as Real Today - Tortured Thoughts Seek a Scapegoat

Othello, Wikimedia Commons

One of the most graphic expositions of jealousy flowed from Shakeaspeare's pen when he wrote "Othello."

Othello's struggles for an explanation for the red mist of jealousy that consumes him leads through confusion, despair and madness to the need for someone or something to blame. It was written hundreds of years ago, yet is a lesson in modern-day psychology.

Othello's soliloquy betrays his extreme confusion, so that the reader/audience may anticipate the conflict to come. We know all too well that such extremes of passion are explosive and bound to erupt into physical violence. Othello's plight seems to be primarily one of confusion, indicated by his conception of Desdemona as the wonderful lady he married, who, in his eyes, turned into a deceitful wanton. His frustration drives him mad. 

It is clear from the start to the reader that jealousy is part of that confusion. 

"I had rather be a toad / And live upon the vapour of a dungeon / Than keep a corner in the thing I love / For others' uses."

The speed with which Othello's thoughts flit from one image to another intensifies the sense of insanity. These shifts in viewpoint, the changing rhythms of speech that inform those shifts, the alterations in pace and the use of run-on lines, all contribute to his loss of direction. 

There is the change from reflection "Haply for I am black..." to abruptness, "She's gone..."  Then he continues, "I am abus'd; and my relief / Must be to loathe her. O curse of marriage."
Foreshadowing
The soliloquy foreshadows the future action in other specific ways. Of Iago, Othello says: 
"This fellow's of exeeding honesty." The phrase has already been used: "Whip me such honest knaves." The reader is primed to question the value of this word when expressed by Othello in the first line of the soliloquy. By convention, a soliloquy reveals the character's true feelings. We know from Othello's nobility that his belief in Iago is sincere and that Iago's mischief will wreak havoc upon Othello's state of mind and, therefore, his actions. Iago knows exactly how to manipulate Othello, but his view of woman's nature is very limited.
The soliloquy also expresses Othello's insecurity, which feeds his confusion and jealousy as he begins to search for explanations: 
"Haply, for I am black / And have not those soft parts of conversation / That chamberers have."  
Othello is only too aware that his life as a soldier has not prepared him for courting a high-born and beautiful woman. He laments, also, his loss of youth, "...for I am declined / Into the vale of years."  
We understand that his nobility and his achievements no longer give him the confidence that he can hold onto the thing that he most loves, and so, he feels hopeless. This hopelessness contributes to his desperate state of mind, fuelling the anger at being, in his own eyes, betrayed.
Tortured Thoughts Seek a Scapegoat
Shakespeare's use of animal similes and metaphors add strength to the language. Desdemona, as Othello's captive hawk, to be released to fend for herself in revenge for his apparent betrayal, is an image which shows how his tortured thoughts are turning upon themselves. We know that he will, in his passion, harm the woman he loves. His conviction that he would "rather be a toad" shows how far he has sunk in his own estimation and how repugnant he finds his condition. The reader knows that Othello is not only insecure, he has also lost his reason, and so insanity must follow.
In the final few lines, he looks for a scapegoat and blames his situation on fate.
"Yes 'tis the plague of great ones; / Prerogatived are they less than the base / 'Tis destiny unshunnable, like death:"  
He has abnegated responsibility for his condition, which is another consequence of losing his reason. The violence of the language, for example, such words as "plague", "base", and "destiny unshunnable" shows the extreme violence of his thoughts. In the next line, the metaphor "forked plague" serves a similar purpose, revealing the force of his emotive language. "Even then this forked plague is fated to us." There may be a biblical allusion here, in the forked tongue of the evil serpent. The image is made all the more shocking by Othello's conviction that such a fate begins at conception, "When we do quicken."
The implication is that he can do nothing about it except tear himself apart, once again, foreshadowing the inevitability of the bloody confrontation to come.
Source:
  • Shakespeare, William, Othello, the Moor of Venice, 1603.